Hi Kids,
I have not posted anything new in a while but today I feel you kids so close in my soul. We are all connected and always will be. I have the CD Bayside playing in the background and have to admit it makes me feel close to you. I have fallen in love with that CD. One thing that is particularly note worthy for me is that even though these kids singing are 20 years younger than me... the words touch me just as they touch their younger fans, like you's. It makes me think about things I have lived through - good and bad - happy and sad - this is Life. We all live it and go through these things. Some are really scary and some are pure bliss, like having each one of my children. Each one of you brought pure love into my existance... into my world. That has a lot to do with my choice to have 6 children. I love you all... I LOVE YOU ALL. Those words don't mean a thing to you boy's though but I know that one day they will again. That is what keeps me going is keeping that in my heart.
I would never want to say, and I don't have any thing planned to say to you kids about your dad that would hurt you. There is nothing that I could say anyway... there are no stories that I have saved or kept brewing in my mind for the sake of hurting him. There is only the sadness that I feel and have felt all these years because the choices he has made to disparriage me and my family members to our children. You are mine as much as you are his. We are your parents - Mom and Dad - and nothing can change that. Mom and Dad, Mom and Dad.
The song "Blame it on bad Luck" is playing... those words they are singing reach me to the center of my being just as they likely reach you. They are true for my lifes experience as for your's, Chase. People always tell me that I Look So Strong and the words Steller Personality have been used about me by others who know me, like my Doctors : ) who I have been seeing a lot of lately.
I feel so much love and emotion for you children - mabey that is because today is Rosie's and tomorrow is Shane's birthday and then Chase is 7 days after that... Dean-o your's is coming up in a month... and I celebrated Jimmy's with Ben's in August. I just wish the love would touch you children one day and you would recognize that in your hearts and souls and remember the love we shared that last time we were together. With all my heart - I Love You... ( as warm tears fill my eyes and heart )
Please call me soon....
Happy Birthday Shaner my sweet one... Love Mom
Come home boys....COME HOME!!!
Also, we are having Rosie's Birthday Party on Saturday the 18th from 4 to 7 pm. We bought her the same Trampoline you kids had, but this one is all black and it looks really cool, dad set it up a couple days ago. Even baby Robert loves it. ( He will be three on Feb 25th )I wish you boys would show up here at the house and have some fun with us. I-15 South about 5 hrs to Poway Rd go east about 10 miles and turn left on Olive Tree Lane, look for the red 68 VW and you will be home. ( the engine is out rite now gettin overhauled ) I Love you!!
