Valerie A. Robinson
13514 Olive Tree Ln
Poway, CA 92064
858-842-1500 Home
619-948-0522 Cell
Sunday, April 08, 2007
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20500
Dear President Bush,
My son Shane Eric Patton was killed in Afghanistan on June 28 2005. He was a US Navy Seal, like his father. He was a little boy the last time I saw him in 1994, and he loved me, his mother.
In 1994 I filed for divorce from James Jeffrey Patton. He defied the court orders for me to visit with our children. He retired from the Navy and moved our 4 children to Boulder City Nevada. In his hatred for me he disparaged my name and family members to our children, so much so that they also hate me with the same fervor as he does. He did not allow us to be part of the children’s lives in all these years causing much heartbreak and sadness for the entire family, especially for our children.
When our son, Shane, was killed I found out via a phone call from a childhood friend who lived in Las Vegas, who saw it on the nightly news. I phoned the Seal Team quarterdeck in Coronado California asking for information and whom I should contact for more confirmation. I was directed to call Casualty Assistance Officer Gerald E. Pedron.
I want to tell you the reason for my letter today, Easter Sunday 2007. Death is a part of life and I am learning to deal with my son’s death. It makes it even harder to deal with because I will never see him again. His father took him from me 13 years ago and I have loved and lived with the belief that one-day our children will grow up and look for me. It hasn’t happened yet. The sad thing is that Shane will never be able to see me and so my world is left undone…
Not only is it heart wrenching to live with this sadness I also endured immense disrespect during my son, Shane’s funeral and all memorials held before and after. Not once during the services did the Commander Honor my loss or acknowledge my presence at the services. In fact, I was seated with my family members in the third row, behind the Governor of Nevada and the other “important’ folks in attendance that day.
As the casket made it’s way to the burial plot, I was not allowed to approach the site. My family and I were stopped in out tracks as we attempted to say our good buys to our son, our American Hero. I was allowed to stand in the front of the 300+ attendees at the funeral and watched from a football field’s length, watching my son, my baby, being lowered into the earth below him. I stood with grace and patience from afar filled with pain and sadness.
How can my government allow this disgrace to have happened? I have received no honor from my government for the loss of my child. There were memorials in Coronado and in Hawaii – which I was not invited to attend to be honored for my loss.
The military Page 2 – is it still called that? I am referring to the page where a military member lists his next of kin. How can it be allowable that a mother be completely disregarded? How can the military give only 1 parent the rights to Honor when their child has been Killed In Action?
When Shane died, I lost all my memories of him. I have 6 children in all, and I remember every one of their births, except Shane’s. I have only one vivid memory that I will be happy to share with you.
In mid February of 1982 I went to Bethesda Naval Medical Center for my first prenatal appointment regarding my 2nd pregnancy. I recognized the pregnancy symptoms and knew that I was about 6 weeks pregnant. After the exam the Dr. advised me that the pregnancy test was negative and that I needed to schedule a DNC. I knew he was wrong but I thanked him and went back home to my apartment in Gaithersburg on 3 N Summit Drive. I had my 1st born baby boy Jimmy on my chest as I lay on the living room carpet rubbing his back and patting him as he fell asleep. In this quiet moment I spoke to the little soul growing in my tummy. I remember telling him… don’t worry little one, I know you are in there and I won’t let anyone hurt you. You must have something really important to do in this lifetime and you will be here soon. I love you little one…
Shane was indeed born November 15th 1982 at Balboa Naval Hospital, San Diego.
Mr. President, I don’t know what I am asking you for… I only know that my heart aches like no one knows at the loss of my 4 sons to Jim Patton, my first husband just over 13 years ago. To be so completely removed from my children lives and then have one of them die for the love of his country before seeing each other is just heart wrenching for me. To live daily with the disrespect and grief is what I do gracefully. I guess I want someone, no… I want you to know that Shane’s Mother is waiting for resolve. I would like the military to send me photos of my son and any certificates that can be found in his record regarding his achievements and honors. Please help right this wrong and help other mothers who are going through what I am.
Sincerely,
Valerie
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