Jim, Jeff, JJ Who Ever you are Today....

Jim Patton~

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!!!

Do you want to hear me say "You Win"!
You've successfully done me in...
You lied, cheated, and stole everything of value to me...
Our Children, OUR Children...
Now We have One who see's you for who you are-
Looking down upon you he cries...
For his Mother...
For his Brother's...
The day will come...
They will come home...
I will wait an eternity...
One Day My Son's Will Come Back Home...
They are my babies...
12 years I have cried for my babies...

I know why you Hate me -
Truth sits just behind my lips...
All these years you wonder-
How long will she keep quiet you ask yourself...
For I am the keeper of your greatest Fear...
Children coming home and finding out...
What you have done and who you truly are...

Your Poison fills their veins today...
To your pleasure they hate me...
As you taught them to...
As you taught them to...
You are a Righteous Man..
Unto yourself.

Wright this wrong
Tell them yourself
...You were wrong
...You are sorry
It's been done before
won't be a first
...You were wrong
...You are sorry

Your Mother Loves you...
Your Mother Loves you...
...I am sorry... so very sorry...
-Tell them Jim...
-Tell Them.
...For their sake
...Let them Love Their Mother...

...Valerie...

More Photo's of Dean

This is Me and You when you were about 24 hrs old. Below you see my Beautiful Chase. What a sweet heart he has... I Love You Chase... My heart breaks when I think about all of you in these photos. You can see Shane in the chair holding Dean... You had greyish or silverish hair when you were born, where all my other babies were all born with black hair. You were very special delivery and you still are...

Here you are in the Neonatal Intensive Care unit. They kept you here for 24 hrs until you were alert enough and they felt safe that you were ok.

I hope you enjoy seeing these photos of this wonderful day. These are the only one's I have.

Chase~ I will post the story of your birth next...

All my Love... Mom

Dean, This is the story of your Birth.

This first photo is Dean-O. He was 2 days old and you can see the bracelet on his ankle. We were still in Gorgas Army Hospital in Panama. He was born 4 weeks before the Norriaga war in Panama. The night I went into labor - I had woke up to go pee : ) when I sat on the toiled I heard a "POP"... I didn't know what that was because I had never had that happen. Well I went back to bed dismissing the "POP" sound but when I sat on the side of the bed... Amniotic Fluid or Water came rushing out. "It was time" the baby would be born today... We had to call our friends to come to the house to watch you 3 boys and... we had to call Security for an escort to the hospital because of the unsettledness among the people in Panama at the time. Once Dad and I got to the hospital my labor slowed down and there were several other women who were ready to deliver... they had us go out of the labor room and into a private room and wait for the baby to come... Well, I had the urge to pee again... : ) so Dad helped me off the gerney and I walked to the bathroom. Well - when I got done... I was sort of stuck and had to call dad to help me walk... The baby started coming out. I virtually had no labor pains. This baby's labor was almost painless. Dad ran out to call for the nurse and they came in with an attitude like we were making things up and getting restless.... Well the nurse gave me an exam and the look on her face was shock and surprise... "Don't move" she say's "I will run and get the Dr." They rushed me into the delivery room... I pushed, and pushed and after about 5 of those... my Dean-O was born. You came out crying and Dad should have the video that he made of your actual birth. After about 1 minute you became a limp baby that was turning blue. The Dr. gave you to the nurse and they ran you to the Neonatel emergency room. They had to hook you up to all kinds of tubes and bring you to life. I have 1 photo of you with all those things hooked up to you... I will scan it in and post it here later today or tomorrow... I was so scared you were not going to make it. When the Dr handed my limp, blue baby to the nurse and told her to rush you over there... I told dad to follow her. Stay with the baby!!

Dean-O, Can you imagine how much I Love you? You are my baby... you live in my soul. You are a precious part of my life. All my love... Mom

THE NARCISSIST AND RELATIONSHIPS

http://www.angelfire.com/ego/narcissism/women.html

The Male Narcissist and Women

~Click the Link above~
It is enlightning
This essay describes what I believe I have endured the past 26 years
From my former husband.
You may even notice things that relate to your relationships with him.

Here is a paragraph that describes in detail what our relationship was like with him. When I finally left him, I was running for my life...

A narcissist is skilled at the art of verbal abuse and the narcissist is proficient at verbally abusing women. Narcissists like to frustrate women. Their behavior toward a woman keeps her on the edge of insanity because she doesn't know what is coming next. The narcissist uses what he deems the blunt or brutal truth to eat away at any attributes that a woman might have. The woman is left with no self-esteem when the narcissist is through with her. This is the way he wants her. If her self esteem is not in tact he can gain control over her and retain her as narcissistic supply.

This article is very interesting and I hope you read it.

My Love to you all,

Love Mom...

Photo taken in my kitchen just 3 hrs ago

By: Baby Robert

Age 2-1/2

: )

Don't hate me ~ Because your Father taught you to...

Don't hate me ~ Because your Father taught you to...

Just remember who you are deep down inside yourself
You are the Holy Son of God Himself.
You are not alone in this world
You have God who listens to your whispers,
Your every silent prayer~
You have me, I am yours, We are one
Things can change and they will
I am always here for you
I will always Love you...

You are my children...

No one Loves a child Like their Mother does
I Love you.... Mom

Today @ The Beach

Oh, I almost forgot the Pics from Today at Solana Beach. We found a nice little Cove with Free parking. I love everything that is Free!! It was absoultely a beautiful day today and the water was warm...

This one is me in my new bathing suit - Trying to be as pretty as Marilyn Monroe. You probably don't know who she is anyhow...

Miss Rose... that is her nick name. When she was about 1 week old I took her out for a stroller ride to the cafe' at the beach. A close friend of Grandma's looked down at her in the stroller and uncovered her little feet. She gave her big toe a little jiggle and said " How are you Miss Rose " Well the name stuck and I have called her that all her life. She is a wonderful daughter and she is also my beautiful friend.

Robert and Daddy with the Cliff's behind them. See all the people behind them... well when the tide came up they all leave that area because the water gets to be about 2-3 feet deep and crashes against the cliff there...

I have so many photos to show you... I sure do love this digital world.

The last week of June 2006, a couple months ago~ I took Robert out Deep Sea Fishing on an all day boat with 24 of my co-workers. We caught 18 sea bass between us. We had so much fun that day. On the way back in the seagulls were so happy to get the fish guts that the deck hands were throwing over board as they gutted and fillet our fish. What a Father's Day to remember.

Now here we have Robert at the Del Mar Fair. He was pissed off because I wouldn't stop taking his picture. I am a little relentless with my picture taking... I asked him to smile... he said no! So I asked him again and as he screamed NO at me I snapped this photo... I think it shows great expression... It show's his not so sweet side. He really is a good boy. Just like you all were when you were his age.

Next came the Monster Trucks... I put the camera away and put him on my shoulders and we watched them and the trick motorcycles... It was a really hot day this day... This was also in June. Like June 2nd or something.

I love you boys... You know that I do. I send you my love with my every heart beat.

Take care and think of me...

Love,

Mom

Hi Boy's Here's the Padre Game Photo's I promised.

• I have some photos for you... I told you Rose won Padre Tickets last month and we all went to an afternoon game down town in the new Petco Park Baseball field. Here are some photos of that day... and some I took today at Solana Beach here in San Diego. I Love you all... Very much.

This first one is Daddy and Robert on the Trolly.

This Second one is Rose on the Trolly. We parked at one of the Park and Ride stops and jumped on the Trolly and rode it downtown. The Baby loves trains... and it sure looks like Rosie does too.

This is Me and Rosie... I took the picture myself... We had the sun in our eyes...

And this one... you can see the Coronado Bridge and in that top section the Army was sitting and they played our National Anthem and they all stood up while the all the people in the Stadium cheered and clapped and whistled, eyes watered and they showed the guys on the big Replay Screen alll in Army Green. It was really an awesome moment... I cried ~ as usual...

: )

Boy's ~ There is nothing I can do to change the past. What Jim Patton has done to all of us and to the entire family ~ cannot be changed. He was a bully and abusive man when he was my husband. I am sorry for not doing things differently and keeping you all with me. Life would surely have been different. You wouldn't have grown up learning Hate, as he has taught you to do. I love you ~ I hope reading this web site filled with my life and photos helps you each to learn and know that your mother is not what you have been told. Only God knows and now Shane knows what lies your father has filled your minds with. I am so sorry for all the pain and that you boys had to grow up without the loving soft touch of your mother.

You are in my heart, soul and prayers. Shane is your guardian Angel watching over you and over us here. I love you all dearley. You are my flesh and blood ~ You are wonderful just as I am.

Be confident in all you do and please ~ remember your mother loves you from the center of my soul... The day will come and we will be together again smiling, hugging and enjoying family life.

The day will come... The day will certainly come... Until then...

I Love you...

MOM